Questions I Hate Being Asked
(and potential answers):

Q. Why are you always closed when I come by?
A. Because I have a moron detector installed and when it goes off I lock the doors.

Q. Is that baby Macaw the mother of those Senegals?
A. Yes. This is how evolution takes place. The reason Scarlet Macaws are endangered is because they are evolving into Senegals.

Q. What will the Senegal be when it grows up?
A.  A lawyer or an elephant or maybe a rat.

Q. Where do they come from?
A. The stork brings them.

Q. Which one was a baby when I was here last?
A. That one turned into a rat when it grew up so I fed it to the snake.

Q. Can you make them talk?
A. Only when I have good batteries in my remote control.

Q. Why don't they fight with each other?
A. They used to until we upped their dose of Prozac.

Q. Which one is making that noise?
A. Probably one of the ones with feathers.

Q. What is he doing when he does that?
A. Trying to get you to ask stupid questions.

Q. Do birds like playing with toys?
A. No, they hate them. I just sell them to rip people off.

Q. Have they ever bit anyone's finger off?
A. Yes, its an important part of their diet.

Q. Don't all these birds drive you crazy?
A. The only thing about the birds that drives me crazy is that they tend to attract people like you into the store.

Q. I bet you get lots of headaches!
A. Only when lots of idiots come in and bug me.

Dianalee Dieter

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